2 Mar 2015
"I don't know what happened to me lately. Suddenly i got so out of control with my emotions. I feel vulnerable & aggressive, weak & hate all in a day. I'm tired of keeping it under wraps. I'm tired of hurting the people I love. I'm tired of pretending I'm fine. I'm tired of feeling insecure & needy. I'm tired of needing love. I'm tired of being afraid of being alone. I'm tired of proving to people that I'm deserving. I'm tired of constantly feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm tired of holding it together"
I chanced upon this entry in my journal from 4 years ago. It reminded me of how far I've come. Entries like this was a common sight. It was so difficult for anyone to love me or reach out to me. I pretended like i was so strong, i said i didnt need anyone's help, but i did. Some days are better than others but it was always a roller coaster ride. It was good one minute, then I'll be triggered by something and fall into a really angsty or negative space. I fed myself all sorts of excuses to justify my volatile and unstable emotions.
If this is what you are going through right now and you feel like you're gonna gonna be ok. You are wrong. It will get better.
"There's so much of my past self that I don't resonate with at all anymore, but i love her just the same. She was growing. She was doing her best. She fought hard to get me here."
I'm so at peace with where i am in life right now. Because I've been there before, this peace within me is so rewarding. I never wanted to be that emotional wreck that i was. So i work towards not being that person anymore. It wasn't easy to sit through conselling, digging deep into my unhappy and painful past. It was even more painful to acknowledge that i am the one with issues. But I'm proud of how far I've come. Practising meditation has also helped me regulate my emotions. Although i feel a lot more sufficient, deserving and complete now, i know self-work is a constant work in progress.
Let's heal so we can stop accidentally hurting people we want to love because we are projecting our own wounds on them.
aggressive roller 在 ️Street Session Zürich (Aggressive Inline Skating 2020) 的推薦與評價
Aggressive Inline Skating Street Session in Zürich vom 20.06.2020.▭ Fahrer die im Video zu sehen sind ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭Adrian Deck ... ... <看更多>