https://youtu.be/qxy171Dfcek
DONGZHI冬至= WINTER SOLSTICE
Winter Solstice is one of the important celebrations in Chinese culture. Traditionally, the Dongzhi Festival is also a time for the family to get together. One activity that occurs during these get-togethers (especially in the southern parts of China is the making and eating of tangyuan (湯圓) or glutinous rice balls, which symbolize reunion. Tangyuan are usually in bright colours. They are cooked in a sweet soup. It is also often served with a mildly alcoholic unfiltered rice wine containing whole grains of glutinous rice (and often also Sweet Osmanthus flowers), called jiuniang. It is going to be on 21st December this year. There is a saying if you eat the tang yuan means u are a year older. Hahaha we refused to be older but still eat them anyway as they are so chewy and yummy. I had great memories of my Poh Poh making them every year. Maya loves making them herself, so we have never failed to follow the tradition and make them every year on dongzhi. In fact, Maya was the one who will remind me about tang yuan every year since her school does tell them about the celebration.
They are so easy to prepare and cook. Within 20 mins you can actually have a nice bowl of them if you dont cook with sweet potatoes.
Ingredients for glutinous rice balls :
2 cups glutinous rice, sticky rice flour
200 ml water
food colouring (or make natural colouring from pandan, dragon fruit and so on)
*this is the usual measurements. If you are making a lot. Just add on accordingly.
Ingredients for the soup (I have a 5 litres pot) :
200 g or more ginger slices (pound), best to use Bentong Ginger if you like it spicy. If I wasnt cooking for kids, I will add double the amount
6 pandan leaves
4.5 litres of water
3 cups sweet potatoe cubes (this is an add-on)
1 pack of rock sugar (depending on sweetness)
You may also add palm sugar, peanut paste, seasame paste, red bean paste inside the tang yuan. We have tried chocolate before. They are not bad, just not traditional enough. Do try molding them into cute characters. Kids will enjoy them even more.
Enjoy making them and tell me the result ok!
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Life is never a bed of roses. Throughout our life, we are constantly being tested and challenged. Life's stressors occurs, and it's inevitable (loss of love ones, break ups, divorce, loss of job etc).
Uncomfortable situations exist so that we are forced to grow, and move forward. When we feel comfortable, we want to continue staying in that sweet spot. It's when shit hits the fence, that we will seek for alternatives, sometimes even find deeper meaning as to why certain things happened to us and not others.
Of course, it's easy to talk about it. But the fact is, some people bounce back easily from their adversities, while others are stuck in the rut for a long time. Why is that so? Why are some people more resilient than other?
At times like this, positive coping is essential in helping one adapt and adjust to the major changes in our lives. Some examples of positive coping are seeking support from family, friends or professionals, relaxation of any sorts (sleep included), physical recreation, even venting too. What are some of your coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or unhealthy?
Join me on 9 Aug 2020 (lets celebrate National Day together!) 2pm-330pm, as I share what positive coping is, how to cope in a less destructive and healthier way, and some personal tips that have worked wonders for me. As always, sign up link can be found in @wonderandwellness and mine bio, as well as my igstory! See you then! ❤
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Why does domestic violence happen?
• All About Control
There are varying theories about what makes batterers use abuse with those closest to them. One view is that batterers are hardened criminals who commit their crimes in a conscious, calculated manner to achieve the dominance they believe men are entitled to. Others believe abuse is the product of deep psychological and developmental scars, which are not gender-specific.
Experts have reached a consensus on several common characteristics among batterers—they are controlling, manipulative, often see themselves as victims and believe that men have a pre-ordained right to be in charge of all aspects of a relationship.
One study found that in many cases acts of domestic violence are mate retention behaviors, that is, actions taken by one partner to try to preserve and maintain their relationship with the other partner.
• Mate Retention Behaviors
For some abusers, violence is a tool to keep their intimate partner from leaving the relationship or keeping them from being unfaithful, even if it means physically forcing them to stay.
One batterer who has now gone through treatment, says "the beatings, the verbal abuse, and the intimidation were all about control. It was like having a new toy," he said. "I had the buttons and I could make her do whatever I wanted. I was trying to intimidate her. I wanted to control her for the simple reason that I knew I could do it. It made me feel powerful."
• The Abuse Cycle
According to the Women's Issues and Social Empowerment (WISE) of Australia, the issues of power and control are essential to an understanding of Domestic Violence. "Domestic Abuse occurs in relationships where conflict is the continuous result of power inequality between the partners and one partner is afraid of and harmed by the other," they say.
Although it can vary from case to case, and doesn't take into account other forms of domestic abuse, WISE uses the "Cycle of Violence" as a model for understanding violent behavior. A simplified version of the cycle is online, but briefly, the phases are:
Build-Up Phase - The tension builds.
Stand-Over Phase - Verbal attacks increase.
Explosion Phase - A violent outburst occurs.
Remorse Phase - You shouldn't have pushed me, it was your fault!
Pursuit Phase - It will never happen again, I promise.
Honeymoon Phase - See, we don't have any problems!
This cycle concerns actual physical abuse. It does not take into account other forms of domestic abuse that are used to control, such as sexual abuse, verbal abuse, psychological and emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, economic abuse, and social abuse.
(Why Domestic Abuse Happens
It's All About Control
By Buddy T)
https://www.thestar.com.my/news/regional/2019/11/05/doctor-allegedly-assaulted-girlfriend-after-she-refused-to-have-sex-causing-facial-fractures
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