關於 keep track (of meaning) ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

Greens 🥬 is a priority & naughty carbs is occasionally 🥖. Easy peasy ✌🏼.

Many of u asked whether I track my calories or count my macros currently.

A: not at the moment as I can roughly gauge portion size of the general food I eat.

Yes it true to lose fats/weight you need to track what you eat, calorie intake & macro. However, if you have been practising healthy eating and your healthy eating habits somewhat has become part of your lifestyle, tracking calories/macros is not entirely necessary if you are on the maintenance side.

This advantage is not for everyone unfortunately. It really depends on your fitness/health goal tbh. And how well u know your food and the food you are eating daily.

For someone who just started their journey, I would suggest you to “tahan” and go with the timely & tedious process of counting calories/macros for at least 28days. Coz we’ll let’s be honest here, not everyone can be discipline enough & have that will power to control their “nafsu” makan aight.

After 28days, ask yourself if you can eat almost the same food and sort of gauge the portion. If you can’t, keep counting them calories/macro & track it using app.

Transitioning from counting calories/macro, you can pay attention to the portion size. Meaning for the first 28days, after u measure your food, jot down the serving size using hand portion serving size.

How 200g of cooked chicken look in hand portion size and etc. I know it’s timely & timeous, but once u get a hang of it, you can pretty much know how much you should be eating in each meal.

But again, this method only work if you are maintaining your weight. To build lean muscle/load mass/shred/lose weight, unfortunately you have to put in more effort and count them cal/macros the least once in every 2-3 weeks.

Hope this help. It’s just my way of simplifying things. It might not be for everyone.

P/s: I know u guys are obsess over protein but please prioritise 🥬 and have them in every main meal. 🥕 doesn’t count lol 😂

10 tips beli rumah . jom ruang kan masa membaca . tak salah kita menambah ilmu . 😊

1. Pilih Loan Yang Betul
Pastikan loan pertama yang anak muda buat dengan bank adalah loan rumah. Bukan loan kereta. Ini adalah kerana loan kereta akan menyebabkan komitmen anak muda semakin tinggi dan kelayakan di pihak bank untuk beli rumah semakin berkurangan. (Kalau nak pakai kereta jugak, pastikan guna nama orang abang, kakak, atau ayah. Asalkan bukan nama kita. Nak senang lagi, mintak nak...
Continue Reading10 tips to buy a house. Let's space the time to read. It's not wrong for us to add knowledge. 😊

1. Choose The Right Loan
Ensure the first loan that young people do with the bank is a house loan. Not a car loan. This is because car loans will lead to young people's commitments getting higher and the qualifiers on the bank to buy houses are reducing. (If you want to use a car, make sure to use the name of your brother, sister, or father. As long as it's not our name. Want to be easy again, asking to continue paying their car)

2. Use Company Accounts As CashFlow
If young people do business, make sure that customers bank in to the company account. Not a personal account of young people. If the customer banks into a personal account, it will NOT be counted as INCOME. So, lose it there. If anyone missed it, transfer back to the company account with a note ′′ CASH SALES ". If you are eating your salary, and within the same time your own business, register the company. ENTERPRISE is enough.

3. Pay KWSP
If young people are doing their own business, make sure to set your salary for yourself and pay your own business. When applying for loan bank later, there will be 2 types of income of young people. That is income from business, and income from your own salary. For salary payment, use company check to pay. Avoid transfer online only. And make sure to make Payslip and cop together.

4. Don't Influence ASB Loan and Personal Loan
Don't be quick to take ASB Loan or Personal Loan. Because this type of Loan is always the factor that leads to our home bank rejected loans. If you want to take ASB Loan too, make sure that after passing your home loan, then take it once. For me, if you plan to buy a second property, don't take an ASB loan anymore. Because usually the bank will offer us after we pass our first home loan. (but it's different if your income is big, if just taking ASB Loan and monthly payments doesn't give a big effect on your DSR, it's okay.

5. Buy First Home For Investment
For the first home, make sure you buy for investment purposes. Why did I say that? Because if young people buy to sit by themselves, it will be a expenses for young people. It's different if young people buy it in cash. Investment is also divided into two. Either Cash Flow or Capital Gain. If young people choose to cash flow investment. It means young people rent the house to others. Ensure the rent given is nothing less than the bank's monthly payment. Another one is Capital Gain. This means, young people buy a house at a certain period, and when the value of the house increases, young people sell / flip the house and get profit from the sale. This way is called Capital Gain.

6. Don't Combine The Name Of Husband Wife When Buying
Avoid combine the name of husband and wife while buying a house. This is because, everyone is only eligible to get a 90 % loan for two houses only. If the 70th house, only get a loan for 70 %. This means, if you follow the rules, a couple of wives will be able to buy 4 houses. But if combine the name, it will be only 2 houses to get a loan of 90 %. So, you'll lose it. The right rule for a husband and wife is... Buy 4 houses, 1 to sit alone, and 3 more for rent. It's a profit from renting that house to pay monthly for the house that you sit. Isn't it like sitting like that?

7. Ensure CCRIS Records CLEAN
CCRIS record is a record from Bank Negara that collects our debts with financial institutions in Malaysia. To make it easier for you before you decide to make a home loan, make sure you check your own CCRIS record first. Later you'll see your debt list and next to your monthly payment list. If it's 0, it means your record is clean. You're a man of mind. If it's 1, this means there's 1 months out, then 2,3,4 and so on. The way to check is to go to the National Bank and use the machines provided. Or now can apply online only. I'll show you the other day.

8. Three Types Of Home You Need To Know
There are three types of homes you can buy.
FIRST - undercons house (meaning under construction). Usually undercons homes are suitable for people who plan on FLIPPING (Selling) when they're done. If you're looking for a house with discount 7%, then you just need to remove 3 % capital. If you can find a house that gets 10 % discount, then you don't need to withdraw the capital to pay deposit.
BOTH - House of subsale. (means the house is done and has someone else's name). For this type of subsale house, a very large capital is required. If the house is RM500, 000, then a deposit of RM50, 000 is required. Added again with legal fees, etc.
THIRD - Auction House. Among these three types, auction houses are at very high risk. But it's okay.. high risk, the return is high.. If winning auction bid is much cheaper than market price, you'll be lucky.. For auction types, you need to study in terms of market value, house state, neighborhood and others before committing to join the bid. If you ask me, I'd rather buy a UNDERCONS house. 😊

9. Buy Undercons Home
If you choose to buy a house under cons, then choose a big developer. Examples like SP Loyal, IJM Land, Sime Darby, Worldwide and others. The first reason why to choose this developer is less risk. Meaning, the risk for abandoned projects is very low. If you choose a developer with no name, the risk is very high because they may lack capital or have other problems and cause the project can be abandoned. We will lose too later.
Second reason, if a big developer, they usually provide many benefits to their property buyers. For example, 5 %- 10 %, free air conditioner, alarm system, vinyl floor and more. Additionally, big developers will usually provide plenty of facilities in a residential park that they are developing. Look at SP Loyal example. So lucky people buy a house in this nature. How many new facilities they get. For example, there are malls, mosques, banks, parks, and more.

10. Buy Following Skills
Buy a house according to ability. Don't follow the lust. Yerlah, sometimes we are affected by friends who buy big houses, we also want to buy a big house. Loan may be able to pass.. but when entering the monthly payment chapter, it's really burdening you. Monthly commitment is higher than the income you get. Last-last, outstanding! So, to avoid this happening, before deciding to buy any house, make sure you count first about your monthly income ability to pay the house later.

11. Extra Tips
It's normal if loan for the first house, the bank wants to see your CCRIS record. Depends on some banks too. If you have never made a loan with a bank, then your ccris record is empty. And banks can't judge how discipline you are on loan payment. So, if this problem happens to you, there are 2 ways you can do it.
FIRST, you apply credit card and use it. The way to use the correct credit card is, swipe during the day, and at night keep paying back the credit card. This is to prevent you from forgetting to pay.
, make personal loan in the lowest amout in Easy RHB. This way, the bank will see a track record that you are a good debt payer.Translated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

【曲名 : メンヘラって神じゃね？】
↓音楽アプリで鬼リピしてね♡↓
ダウンロード : https://linkco.re/nUTrun5v

Music/Lyrics/Track/Mix/Mastered : たかやん (Takayan)
Twitter : https://twitter.com/takayan_gorizal
Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/takayan_gorizal
Soundcloud : https://soundcloud.com/takayan_gorizal

Illust : mano
Twitter : https://twitter.com/mano__aaa

【Lyrics】
ヘラる 生まれたくも無いのに生まれて 裏切られまくって
ヘラる おともだち欲しいから目元だけ写して自撮って

切る 自分に厳しい メンヘラは神
だけどそれ以上傷つけないで
生まれただけで素晴らしいんだって
理不尽な奴らには中指立てる

ヘラる 脳にしがみ付く元カレ
ヘラる つまらないのに愛想笑い
ヘラる 生きる意味が分からない
ぱおんだよ！ダルすぎてずっと自粛！

エナドリ 薬 OD スト缶でハイになって永遠に無理して体壊す
大丈夫だよ、かあちい目指すだけでかあちい
誰もが憧れる 「あのギャル」

皆、同じような目 だが天国
かまちょでも加減分かるなら良いよ
リスカは鍵垢でして欲しいよ
まぁどう生きようが君のふりーすたいる！
イラついたら君のサンドバックになりてぇな
常識無い害悪の退治 お疲れ様
一人じゃない！ 音り乗って 憂鬱さえも教えてな
「好き」を追う君は一番輝いてる！

元彼なんて後悔させようぜ。
愛想笑いでいいよ つまんないもんね
おっけい 生きる意味 誰も分かんねえ
都合良いだけの人じゃなくていいから
自分責めるくらいなら その原因に疑問を持って
また憂鬱が始まるよ 自分許して自由に歩こう

切る 自分に厳しい メンヘラは神
だけどそれ以上泣きすぎないで
生まれただけで素晴らしいんだって
嫌いな奴らには中指立てる

切る 自分に厳しい メンヘラは神
だけどそれ以上泣きすぎないで
生まれただけで素晴らしいんだって
嫌いな奴らには中指立てる

ほら、まだ生きれてる。
結局、自分の道進んでるから
さあ ごーいんおん いざぴえん
まだまだ ごーいんおん いざぴえん
足りない ごーいんおん いざぴえん
自分に勝つその日まで。


【English Lyrics】
("Menhera" mean is "ill girls" Japanese people called this.)

Ill, was born but not in your own purpose. Betrayed, always.
Ill, want to make friends and take selfies, only for half of the face.

Wrist cut, harsh to yourself, ill girls are god.
But please don't hurt yourself anymore.
"It's amazing to be born by".
Show your middle finger to those nonsense guy.

Ill, ex-boyfriend which clings in your brain.
Ill, bored but still give a fake smile.
Ill, don't even understand the meaning of living.
OMG, too dull that don't want to go out anymore.

Energy drink, drugs, overdose, alchahol, high as f*cked. Repeating forever, breaks the body.
Its fine, just want to be cute.
Become 'the girl' that everyone admires.

Everyone looks the same, but I like it.
Want to be loved, but not too much.
Want to upload wrist cuts to private accounts.
You have your freedom to decide how you live!
Wants to be your sandbag when you're irritated.
Kill harm who have no common sense, good job.
Not alone! Follow the rhythm and tell me about your depression.
Shines while you chase for your love!

Let's make your ex regret.
Give your fake smile, cuz live is boring.
OK, no one know about the meaning of living.
Don't have to be a yes-man.
Blame the cause rather than blame yourself.
Depression repeats, forgive yourself and live freely.

Wrist cut, harsh to yourself, ill girls are god.
But please don't cry too much.
"It's amazing to be born by".
Show your middle finger to those you hate.

Wrist cut, harsh to yourself, ill girls are god.
But please don't cry too much.
"It's amazing to be born by".
Show your middle finger to those you hate.

See? You're still alive.
After all, you are living with your own way.
Keep on, sob sob.
Still goes on, sob sob.
Not enough, sob sob.
Until the day you beat yourself.