< 5 Rules for Becoming an Etiquette Hotshot in 2014 >
Knowing your etiquette and having top-notch social skills form the basis for good human relationships wherever you are. In the super competitive world of work, the value of excellent etiquette is more highly regarded than ever, particularly as you're elevated up the career ladder. Being polished while remaining genuine and natural, gives you an absolute advantage in every area of life. Let the best of you shine with these 5 tips:-
1. First impression counts
It literally takes only 30 seconds for a person meeting you for the first time to form impressions about you, your character, and abilities. You’ll never get a second chance to make a first impression again! Like it or not, people are generally drawn to things that are better looking, so be prepared to look and sound your best at all times. Investing a little extra effort in your attire and appearance will make a world of a difference in elevating the impact of your first impression!
2. Make attempts to meet as many people as possible
When attending business events or social functions, avoid hiding at one corner or hanging out exclusively with your friends. If you don’t know anyone or happen to see someone you want to meet badly, use crafty conversation starters to warm things up. More often than not, events are the best way to build great network connections that will lead to business opportunities. So get the conversation started and expand your social circle.
3. People’s names matter, so does yours
Make it an effort to remember people’s names as it can increase your standing in the eyes of others. Most people appreciate your effort to learn their names if you spend more than a minute or two talking with them. In return, they will also readily remember yours for all the right reasons. And if an old acquaintance has forgotten your name, don’t make a big fuss out of it. Instead, reintroduce yourself with grace and let your elegant mannerism do the magic!
4. Master the art of small talk
Learn how to hold an upbeat conversation, with back-and-forth dialogue that is of your audience’s interest. Never monopolize a discussion. Instead, strive for a balance between talking and listening. Also, be open to talk about subjects that you know little about as this respect and consideration for others will take your ability to communicate with everyone and anyone to a whole new level!
5. Don’t be a gossip genius
Be mindful about the things you say about others. Avoid gossips by all means. Not only is it bad form, if words ever got back to the person you were talking about, you can pretty much be assured you’ll be the subject of the next gossip session! Also, never make negative snap judgments about the people you meet. We are nobody to judge!
mannerism art 在 玳瑚師父 Master Dai Hu Facebook 的最讚貼文
【玳瑚師父出差錄】 誰說信佛就不該信玄學?
Who says a Buddhist is not to be an advocate of metaphysics? (English version below)
某天,我到百勝樓的光明坊購買佛具,也隨緣指點了那裏一位鬱鬱寡歡的店員。另外一位店員對玄學卻嗤之以鼻,仿佛認爲只要是風水師父,都是犀利的生意人,更堅信只要一心修佛,一切都會吉祥,不需風水的補助。
坦白說,我不太喜歡被套上‘風水師父’這名號,有點俗。我會的也不只是風水,‘堪輿師’比較有水準,‘玄學師父’也較貼切。我也不喜歡被問“生意還好嗎?”。雖然是自雇人士,但我並非在做生意。由始至終我是以弘法利生,教導衆生如何離苦得樂為主,玄學的運用是善巧方便。
我身旁的弟子看不過店員的排斥,便說:“光明山普覺禪寺在新加坡有這麽大的名氣和地方,不也是因爲當年宏船法師佈的風水局嗎?他以風水利益了新加坡不少,更以風水設一大道場,幫助衆生能向佛。不是每個人都願意聼我們一開口就和他說佛理,師父他是先以風水幫衆生解決生活上的問題,減輕他們的煩惱,有佛緣的必後再入佛智。”
光明坊的店員聼了後,收斂了無禮的態度,說:“你們是這樣,就好。”
明明就是這樣啊,師姐,都是佛弟子,何必因我的專業而起色相呢?
很多佛門弟子沒有好好地研究佛陀的歷史就排斥玄學。佛陀赫赫有名十大弟子之一的舍利弗有智慧第一的美譽,出生於很有名望的大学者家庭,未皈依佛陀前,已精通五術,懂得風水。當年,須達長者想為佛陀與僧團建一精舍時,佛陀派去與須達長者一起找地的,就是舍利弗,因爲舍利弗懂得相地。
店員認爲一心修佛,一切會吉祥,這道理是沒錯,問題是,你還沒達到一心啊!住宅風水不好,問題接踵而來,你如何一心呢?你能,你家人也能嗎?風水能消有形的業,修習佛法能消無形的業。一心修佛的善報,讓你有福份遇到好的玄學師父為你解決居家風水上的難題,你卻不認得,太可惜了。
玄學是旁支,是一種方便法、入世法。雖是旁支,卻實實在在能夠補助修行。再者,你跟一個貧窮的人說要念佛持咒,才能夠改命,但他根本沒有信心坐下來持完一百零八遍的佛號或咒語。風水能改善他的環境,讓他沒有後顧之憂地學佛,探討佛法的真實義直至明心見性、自主生死。
光明坊若有宏船法師的風水調教,此店的法務發展就不會如此如此了,可惜后繼無人。廟方名氣大,不大可能聘請外頭的堪輿師,這正是被一個‘名’所累啊!
*光明坊乃新加坡光明山普覺禪寺經營的現代生活佛具文物店。
------------------------
One day, I went to the Awareness Place at Bras Basar Complex and had the affinity to give a little advice to one of the salespersons who looked a little down that day. The other salesperson there however displayed contempt towards the mention of metaphysics and seemed to have a misconceived notion that geomancers are mercenary businessmen. She was adamant that as long as one possessed complete faith in the Buddha and cultivated accordingly, all would be well without the assistance of Feng Shui.
Frankly, I do not like being cast into the "Fengshui Master" stereotype. It is old-school, and my knowledge is not just limited to Feng Shui. Perhaps a more suitable term could be "Geomancer" or even "Metaphysicist". I also dislike being asked "How's business?". I might be self-employed, but I definitely don't see myself as a businessman. Right from the start, my calling has been to propagate the Dharma and guide all sentient beings to break free of their worldly afflictions. Utilizing Chinese metaphysics is just a skilful mean to my end.
Indignant by the salesperson's mannerism, my disciple beside me said, "Isn't the great success of Kong Meng San Phor Kar See Monastery also due to the application of Feng Shui by Venerable Hong Chuan? He used Feng Shui to aid Singapore's prosperity and build a haven for sentient beings to learn the Dharma. Not everyone can accept Buddhism readily. My master uses the art of metaphysics to solve the problems in their daily lives and reduce their troubles. Those with an affinity to Buddhism, he would then certainly guide them towards the Dharma."
Hearing this, the sales lady reined in her impolite attitude and remarked, "It's good if that is indeed what you practice."
This is indeed the truth, my Dharma sister. We are all fellow disciples of the Buddha. Why do you perceive me in the wrong light merely based on my occupation?
Many Buddhists who rejected Chinese Metaphysics did not have a deep understanding of the history of Buddhism. One of the ten renowned disciples of the Buddha is Venerable Sariputta, an Arhat foremost in wisdom. He hailed from a respected and learned Brahmin family and was a spiritual ascetic, well-versed in metaphysics, geomancy included, before he took refuge in the Buddha. That year when Anāthapindika wished to build a monastery for the Buddha and his disciples, Venerable Sariputta was tasked with finding the ideal location for the monastery. Because Venerable Sariputta knew geomancy!
The salesperson 's notion of "cultivate wholeheartedly and everything will be fine" is not wrong. The question remains if one can achieve the wholeheartedness in your daily life every single moment. When your house Feng Shui is plagued with errors and problems emerged one after another, are you still able to practice the Dharma wholeheartedly? Even if you can, are you sure your family living together with you is able to? Good Feng Shui removes karmic hindrances in their physical forms while spiritual cultivation eradicates non-physical karmic hindrances. From another perspective, the merits from your spiritual cultivation have bore fruits and presented itself in you being able to meet a good geomancer to assist you with your worldly problems. What a pity if you fail to recognize this blessing.
Metaphysics is an ancient method to solve the worldly problems of mankind. Though not a path to spiritual liberation, it is complementary to our spiritual cultivation. Should a man be in a situation of dire poverty, how would he have the confidence to chant the mantras? However, once his immediate situation gets improved by the application of geomancy, it will lessen his worries and give him the peace of mind to discover his own Buddha nature and attain liberation through diligent cultivation.
If Venerable Hong Chuan had harnessed the strength of Feng Shui to aid Awareness Place, the development of the store would have been a different story altogether. Unfortunately the vast Feng Shui knowledge possessed by the Venerable was not passed on. A huge and famed monastery, as KMSPKS is today, is unlikely to hire an "outsider" for Feng Shui advice. To be held down by its own fame, what a pity indeed.
*Awareness Place is a holistic lifestyle store, operated by Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery.
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