My Mother kept a garden,
a garden of the heart,
She planted all the good things
that gave my life it’s start.
She turned me to the sunshine
and encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing
the seeds of self-esteem…
And when the winds and rain came,
she protected me enough-
But not too much because she knew
I’d need to stand up strong and tough.
Her constant good example
always taught me right from wrong-
Markers for my pathway
that will last a lifetime long.
I am my Mother’s garden.
I am her legacy-
And I hope today she feels the love
reflected back from me
#imissmymama 😭😭
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過0的網紅So-ju Twins,也在其Youtube影片中提到,?FOLLOW US? Sue's IG: https://www.instagram.com/cheongsueann Jo's IG: https://www.instagram.com/joannwithadash ✨OUR FLAWS, INSECURITIES, AND OUR JOU...
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example of self-esteem 在 阿空 Facebook 的精選貼文
整理資料發現近兩年前去某國際研討會分享 #手天使 心得時的講稿,當時把我知道的議題面向都寫進去了。貼上來給有興趣的朋友。
[[slide page 1]]
Thank you for attending this part.
I'm from Hand Angel, a non-profit organization of Taiwan.
The title of my presentation is "As a sex worker and a sex volunteer",
since I'm both a sex worker, and also attending Hand Angel as a sex volunteer.
[[slide page 2]]
Allow me to introduce my organization more,
though you may know some from what Vincent has said in the morning.
Our main tenet is sexual rights to people with disabilities.
[[slide page 3]]
This includes not only orgasm, but also the right to control one's sexuality with autonomy and without discrimination.
People know us usually because we provide limited sexual service for servere physical or visual disabilities, including females.
Hand Angel is not a registered organization in Taiwan,
since we literally provide sexual service, which is considered against public order and morals.
However, we are still able to initiative our idea on the table
because our service are free, which means we actually do not violate any law.
[[slide page 4]]
In Taiwan, the definition of "sexual transaction" includes obscene acts in exchange for monetary,
which means it's considered transactional sex even there is no sexual intercourse.
And since transactional sex is technically illegal in Taiwan,
there's no legal way for us to charge anything by providing any service which may be considered obscenity.
This is much different in other countries.
In Japan, the law prohibiting sexual transaction only applies to intercourse between one male and one female. That's why White Hands and NOIR are able to provide paid handjob. The other reason is that they seem do not locate their service as sexual transaction. We can talk about this difference later.
And in Hong Kong, there's some way for sex workers not to be punished, which is called "one-woman brothel". So the difficulty for people with disabilities to satisfy their sexual desire would be different.
I, who has been a sex worker for years -- under the table, of course -- was invited to join Hand Angel at its very beginning.
[[slide page 5]]
People keep asking me that how a sex worker would think about a free sexual service.
But before that question, I think it's more important for us to know the difference other than money.
What's the difference between a classical transactional sex and our service?
As a sex worker, I hope my customers will come back to me more and more, as many times as they can pay.
But as a member of Hand Angel, I hope the servees would not need us anymore.
In fact, I hope they don't have to come to us at the very beginning.
The reason why people with disabilities may need sexual service, is the absence of sexual resource, the resource to fulfill one's sexual desire.
This is just like other issues of disabilities.
[[slide page 6]]
Just providing a service would not resolve the structural problem.
For example, if you give food to the poor without changing their situation, you would end up finding out that they're still poor.
Now change the "food" to "sex".
If we just give our own sex to those who barely have sexual resource, we'll end up exploiting ourselves, and their bad situation still remains.
The problem is, disabled people are considered abnormal, and they have been treated as no unnecessary needs.
But what is necessary for a person to live her own life instead of just survive?
In our issue, disabled people are usually considered asexual, and seldom sexy. That's the stigma we're going to break down.
[[slide page 7]]
There are some textures talking about disabled people in love and having sex, such as "Scarlet Road", "Sex on Wheels", and "The Sessions".
However, the narrative are usually based on ableism.
Viewers usually focus on how can the service provider "bear" to have sex with disabled people, instead of seeing the obstacles disabled people encounter.
[[slide page 8]]
A feminist has said that the relationship a disabled person has is considered depending on the compassion of the other person. People think their sexuality is disgusting and only saints are able to tolerate it.
So we can see the problem is not only physical obstacles, but also how we think about intimate relationship a disabled person deserves.
[[slide page 9]]
Does Hand Angel care about intimate issue? The answer is yes.
In our service, we provide not only sexual service. Our target is not the physical orgasm, but the infinite opportunity of their own lives.
Here are two examples.
[[slide page 10]] Little Prince
Since this servee can sense nothing below his waist, a classical handjob would be meaningless.
Fortunately, we have a BDSM queen in our team.
She thought of techniques in SM to check how pain it is to the slave, and use the same trick to check how the servee's body can feel.
I have to emphasize: that was not a medical treatment, that was about communication with each other.
They were talking about the feeling of two people, instead of the body of one person.
The whole process relies on the intimacy between the sex volunteer and the servee.
[[slide page 11]] ND
"Strolling" for him was from his room to the front door of his home.
Uh, I'm not talking about he lives in a big house.
Though using an electric wheelchair, ND's finger was not powerful enough to control the device for more than 10 minutes,
which means going out alone is not possible for him.
But after applying for our service, he trained himself to "walk" longer.
Even after our service, we were told that he kept trying to leave home and meet other friends.
Another servee has tried other entertainment such as snorkeling and paragliding after our service.
He's having a more plentiful life than before, and even than me.
[[slide page 12]]
In these cases, we can see that:
First, physical orgasm is not the only purpose of a sexual service.
Secondly, libido, or desire for sexual activity, is a strong energy for people to live.
There's a continuing question for us: People can still live without sex.
[[slide page 13]]
What's so important for disabled people to have sex?
Well, I think sex is probably not important for those who can have sex easily, but the impossibility to sex or intimacy may deny the self-esteem of a person.
Sex is an important reason for most people to make friends. So on the other hand, once a person is forced to abandon the opportunity to have sex, she (or he) might lose the energy to social activities. And that's not good for mental health.
[[slide page 14]] The 3 aspects we care about
First, physical orgasm. This is not only about sex organ, but also those come from your erogenous zone.
The problem is not only that people don't know how to interact with disabled people during sex,
but also that people do not want to know how the sex would be for people with different disabilities.
Second, intimacy. The right to have a satisfying date is also important.
Let's imagine, what if a couple of lovers want to kiss each other while seeing movie in a theater, but one of them is in wheelchair so their positions are actually separated?
Third, social integration. Many people with disabilities don't have enough opportunity to make close friends. One of the reasons is that other people usually don't know how to react with disabled people. Therefore, education is important.
[[slide page 15]] Gender Equity Education
In Taiwan, gender equity education comprises 3 parts: affective education, sex education, and gay and lesbian education.
Though I also want to introduce the situation that the conservative group is raising a proposal of referendum to forbid gay and lesbian education, but that's not the issue here so I have to skip that. I hope people who are interested in Taiwan may notice that same-sex marriage is not the only issue about gender equity.
Uh, back to disability rights movement.
As an organization which cares both gender issue and disability issue, we note that even open-minded gender activists may ignore the existence of people with disabilities.
Gender equity education is never designed or applied in the point of view of the disabled.
For example, there are some materials for teaching safe sex, but people seldom think about how a blind person should know before she (or he) masturbate or have sex.
We have a servee who once masturbated in the bathroom of his home, but couldn't clean up since not knowing where his semen reached during ejaculation, and therefore shocked his sister who later used the bathroom.
And another friend bought an artificial vagina in a sex toy store. But he didn't even know he have to erect before insertion.
[[slide page 16]] female servee
People caring about gender equity keep question us: why is there only one female servee during these 5 years after our foundation?
Well, we think the answer is complicated. But the most important one is: how difficult for a female to "confess" she has sexual desire?
We all know about "slut shaming", and those terms to humiliate females by their sexuality -- such as "bitch" and "whore".
It's difficult even for able-bodied females to state their sex experience and preference.
Then it's even more difficult for disabled females to think what she herself wants.
But before sexual activity with other people, disabled females don't even know their body well.
The only female servee we have, told us she has never seen or touched her own vagina.
So we also hosted some conferences and speeches to discuss about such situation of disabled females.
[[slide page 17]] Androcentrism
This is an important issue for us. And I think it's important for those who care about sexual health of disabled people.
Though there are some textures talking about sexual desires of disabled females. To provide sexual service or even sex education to them is barely seen.
I have to admit that, even though there are more and more female members joining us, androcentrism is still not easy to get over.
[[slide page 18]] limitations
Hand Angel provides service to those with servere physical or visual disabilities.
So here comes a frequently asked question: what about others?
The main difficulty for us is that we don't know enough about the situation of other disabilities.
Of course we know that people with other disabilities also don't have enough sexual resources,
but we ourselves do not have enough resources to share, either.
That's why we also hope other people to compose other similar organization.
Meanwhile, there are some people we cannot help because of law.
Adolescents are the ones I myself care about most,
since male teenagers have overwhelming sexual desire, and that would be hell for those with upper limb disability.
However, there are always laws prohibiting youths to have sex in every country.
[[slide page 19]]
In Taiwan, it is legal to have sexual activity after 16. No matter it's intercourse or not.
But even for an organization providing free service like us, the member who communicate with sex volunteer and the servee would be punished as a broker if the servee is younger than 18.
Actually, we do have an applier who mailed us about his desire when he was 15. What we can do is tell him to wait 3 more years.
Unfortunately, being an adult does not mean your right to sex is permitted.
[[slide page 20]]
People with intellectual disability or mental disorder are also infantilized, treated as babies or angels, and considered asexual.
The dilemma is similar to what teenagers have. Their consents are not considered valid.
That is frustrating. The law to protect them from sexual violence also tortures them.
[[slide page 21]] Acrotomophilia and devotees
While talking about disabled people in love or having sex, this is also an issue we should mention.
Some people worry about that devotees are just trying to dominate or take control of the disabled people.
This is similar to MacKinnon's dominance theory and male supremacy.
Devotees are considered to have more power in the relationship, and thus disabled people have a lack of autonomy.
I think that's a stigma, too.
The dominance theory does not deny free love. It focuses on the power issue.
Thus, the problem lies still on the absence of resources disabled people deserve.
Slanders on devotees are based on the prejudice that disabled people are never sexy,
and that denies the possibility for disabled people to have plentiful sexual activity.
The whole society shall support disabled people to have their own autonomy in their relationship.
[[slide page 22]] Difficulties
Usually, people would understand sexual desire of disabled people.
But to support it publicly is another story, especially for the organizations relying on donations.
There are some social workers and parents telling us that they want to do something to help their cases and family,
but it is still an issue which could not be spoken.
It's never been easy for us to talk about sex on the table, but it should be done.
Even for those who don't agree with the idea of sexual service, I do hope you could at least support disabled people to talk about their sex and romance.
[[slide page 23]]
This ends my report. Thank you for listening.
I'm Kong, a sex volunteer of Hand Angel from Taiwan.
example of self-esteem 在 玳瑚師父 Master Dai Hu Facebook 的精選貼文
【玳瑚師父玄學論】 《別把愛變成害》
Do Not Let Your Love Turn Harmful (English Version Below)
這篇文章的誕生,是吾發自內心的一份關愛。吾的工作是須要見很多很多人的,在眾多的顧客群中,所謂的「疼愛」孩子,或望子成龍望女成鳳,是無可厚非的。祇是吾乃玄學家,必定有非一般的洞察力,必定有遠見。因此,不時都會為這些家長們「捏一把冷汗」
人與人之間的相愛、聚散、來往、互動及喜不喜歡,皆是八字裏的五行相生相剋,所演化的一場場戲劇。也唯有懂得「看劇本」及「修補劇本」的人才能讓一場場戲劇有看頭,且有「較圓滿」的結局。這些絕對不是一個觀戲的人所能辦得到的。
舉例:您的公子八字不要金,而您卻要他學鋼琴。結果是,他不但學不成,身心還得受創,浪費時間也浪費金錢 ,更嚴重的連親子關係,也可能亮起紅燈。祇因那不是他用神,而是他八字裏的「毒藥」,他自然不會喜歡,也不會學有所成。再舉例:您的千金八字不要水,而您卻要她攻讀經濟學。結果是,她開始有脫髮現象、憂愁滿面、越來越沒有安全感、生理出現問題,等等。試問,這樣好還是不好?
每個人都有其八字裏的喜、用、忌神。而這些喜、用、忌神,都分佈在人、飲食、日常用品、號碼、學術、顏色、形狀、暗與亮,等等。不懂的人,有如瞎子探路,處處皆險也。懂得的人,處處皆生機,健康、快樂、富貴榮華常相伴。「笑傲江湖」又有何難。哈!哈!哈!
願天下為人父母者,早日覺醒,不要再固執己見,快樂為您的子女,批看八字,免去今時日後的煩惱,千萬不要把愛變成害。
--------------------
The idea of this article was conceived out of my deep concern and care for people. My job entails meeting a lot of people, amongst them parents who love their children and have high hopes and expectations for their offspring. As a Chinese Metaphysician, I do possess a higher than usual level of awareness and foresight. Thus, I often break out in 'cold sweats' whenever I meet these parents.
The state of relationship and interaction between human beings, be it falling in or out of love, coming together or falling apart, liking or disliking one another, has a great deal to do with the interactions of the 5 elemental types in their birth charts. These interactions between their elements spin the many dramas that will unfold in their lives together. Only a person, who can read the 'drama script' well and has the ability to modify it, can direct these dramas to become blockbusters and influence a happy ending in them. A person who merely watches the show as a audience will surely not be able to do that.
Take for example: suppose that your son does not need his unfavourable Metal element, and yet you made him learn the piano. Not only did he fail miserably, his self esteem is crushed and time and money go down the drain too. More importantly, this may also put a strain on the parent-child relationship. This situation comes into being because of the unfavourable element (like a poison to him) you introduce into his life. It is only natural that he will dislike and resist with no result to show.
Another example: suppose that the Water element is unfavourable to your daughter, but you insist that she specializes in economics. As a result, the poor girl suffers from hair loss, depression, a deepening sense of insecurity and physiological issues, etc. Is this something you will hope for?
Every one of us, in our birth chart, has our favourable and unfavourable elements. These elements are also omnipresent in our surroundings: people, food and beverages, daily necessities, numerals, trades and skills, colours, shapes, luminosity, etc. The ignorant ones would be like blind men fumbling for directions, their situation ever so dangerous. The ones who have a grasp of this knowledge will find opportunities everywhere, with good health, happiness, wealth and fortune ever present. Laughter will fill your life! Ha ha ha!
I wish that all parents in the world will come to realise this, and not hold on to their erroneous views stubbornly. Spare a thought for the happiness of your children and seek professional help to understand their birth charts. In this way, it will save you from worries in the days to come. Do not let your love for your children turn harmful and end up hurting them instead.
example of self-esteem 在 So-ju Twins Youtube 的最讚貼文
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✨OUR FLAWS, INSECURITIES, AND OUR JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE✨
Hey guys,
This video is a long one so grab a cup of tea ? and we hope you enjoy this one. We talked mainly about our journey to self-love, our flaws and our insecurities. We do have our notes with us during our talk but we most of the time just talk whatever was in our heads and whatever feels right ? So our points will be all over the place. But still, we really hope you find value from this video~ ?
Plus, we know we mentioned a lot on the physical but it applies to every aspect of life too (ex. career, statue, skill, emotional state etc..) Physical was the easier example for us.
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[Non-Copyrighted Music] Chill Jazzy Lofi Hip Hop (Royalty Free) Jazz hop Music
LAKEY INSPIRED - Chill Day (Vlog No Copyright Music)
Ikson - Moments (Vlog No Copyright Music)
example of self-esteem 在 1.4 Human Relations: Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence Effects 的推薦與評價
Be able to define and explain the importance of self-esteem in your career. ... For example, Michael may have low self-esteem in general, ... ... <看更多>