關於 open mic意思 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

中文漫才『三木旅行社』＃日本人　＃台灣觀光
#小北百貨 #阿妹

最後...三木新的忘詞方式嗎？？

今天颱風來了 所以今晚的 漫才Open Mic 取消了
請大家安全第一
我們希望大家在房間看我們的漫才段子影片😆

『漫才少爺 台灣環島爆笑演出 in 台南 高雄』
『高雄』
演出日期：2021/10/1 (五) 19:30
場 地：『高雄 奧兒享』
地 址：高雄市苓雅區中正一路306號3樓之2
（五塊厝捷運站出口）
『台南』
演出日期：2021/10/2 (六) 19:30
場 地：『台南 響響』
地 址：700台南市中西區信義街102號
票　　價：預售票 TWD$400
當日票 TWD$450
購票方式：KKTIX及全台全家便利商店
還有年末也在台北舉辦活動
#卡米地俱樂部
12/17(金) 台北
12/18(土) 台北
原汁原味的阿本仔日式搞笑
來自日本搞笑藝人『漫才少爺』的
台灣環島快閃巡迴
這次表演全部都是首次公開的『新段子』
內容豐富包含
『漫才』『短劇』『Q&A Talk』
『唱歌&變臉』
90分鐘絕無冷場，歡迎大家一起來玩！
🙇‍♂️不好意思🙇‍♂️
我們確定 台南跟高雄 舉辦的 單獨演出
可是因為 現在 疫情的關係
看到時候疫情情況
表演的日期也可能會有更動
希望大家的身體健康平安
還有開心過生活
一起加油吧
https://comedyclub.kktix.cc/events/around2021

本來是新竹open mic
因為疫情，變成北中南open mic
感謝中國，讓台灣再次團結
open mic直播中

【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients

我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久，今天過後實在忍無可忍，一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。

我年紀很大了，受不了太大的刺激。

拜託，你們可以Zoom好來嗎？😓😑

一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角

護照自2020年起就已成為古董，但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧！

對了，就是要頭髮整齊，讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀，到胸部。

我批八字時，需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外，這樣很像鍾無艷，也不要嘴巴不見掉，這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。

我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的，看相就是需要那麼仔細。

如果你的螢幕太低，那就找書本或舊報紙，把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴，會把你的面相比例給看錯。

不要一直告訴我不好意思，方法是人想出來的。

•

二、光線

太暗，我看你如見鬼。
太亮，我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾，不要背向陽光。
有必要的話，就直接開燈！

•

三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖

什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦～

我的家美最重要，我不在乎你的家美不美，我只是來看命的。

如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強，電腦功能不是很厲害，這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。

有時你轉個身，整個右邊不見了，或部份的頭髮少了，讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片，嚇人啊～

•

四、環境和聲音

有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊，特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧，讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍

沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人，往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音，如果他們本身講話又小聲，我的耳機聲量開滿，我還是聽得滿辛苦的

也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室，就是為了不受家人的干擾，能安心的與我視訊。😍

最有趣的是，去年新加坡阻斷措施時，有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大，我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。

曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲，頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵，哇～我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪，還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。

天啊，兩次過後，我寧願退錢，也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對，我要保護好啊！

在這裡聲明：一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機，就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人，我一概會拒絕諮詢，把費用原銀奉還。

五、孩子

曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘，一直被女客人的小孩打擾，進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。

如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童，會時不時來敲你的門，我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心，無法聽好我交代的事，而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子，就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字，這樣對誰都不公平。

六、我只見客人一人

這個規矩，從我一出道就定下來，也清楚的寫在網站上，根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。

但這兩個星期，還是有客人硬闖關，事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面，要他們聽我講他的八字。

我從不改我的規矩，也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。

讀書這麼高，連自己的命都不能自己負責，這已經不是能改到命的人了。

你一定要你的配偶陪你聽，那你需要的不是我來教你改命，是你的配偶來安你的心。

將來若還有這樣的事，我會直接中斷視訊，把錢退回去。

七、「我第一次用Zoom！」

可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢，你有兩個月的時間去摸索。

兩個月，怎麼還是錯誤百出？因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。

結果我就這樣等了20分鐘，還得等對方下載軟件。

Zoom不難使用，但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索，就不要撒謊，直接說，我就直接退現錢。

品德是改命的資糧，不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊，還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎？

小事都不願做好，絕對不會成大器。

八、暈車

有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。

重點是，他一支手拿著手機，一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫，另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上，移動一下，手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊

我一天如果見三個這樣客人，我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後，頭也會痛得厲害，無法完成晚上製片的工作。

沒有自拍器三腳架，也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。

各位，多點善心，為我著想一下吧⋯⋯

__________________________

To My Dear Zoom Clients

I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.

I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.

Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?

Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.

Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.

I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.

When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.

If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.

Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.

Number 2: The background lighting.

Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.

Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.

Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.

If necessary, just turn on the lights!

Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.

There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.

If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.

•

Number 4: Background environment and noise.

Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.

Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.

There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.

I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.

Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.

Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!

A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.

•

Number 5: Children

There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.

You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.

•

Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.

I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.

But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.

I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.

If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.

If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.

•

Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"

But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.

Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.

Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?

•

Number 8: Giddy spells

Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.

If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.

Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.

Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......

出來混，遲早要還的啊，老Ｋ
#ghostwriter #狗屎寫手 #老K
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
｜本集影片由 SAT. Knowledge 邀約製作｜
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
SAT. Knowledge 【職場英文即戰力，從聽懂關鍵字到完勝簡報】
更多資訊👉
課程短網址：http://go.sat.cool/T92JS
　
課程特色：
　
👩🏻‍💼帶你訓練英語耳👂掌握英文發音及讀音原則，學會判斷英文關鍵字的出現時機！
👩🏻‍🏫完整英文簡報架構+ 超過500句道地簡報慣用語，靈活替換，隨時開口不緊張！
👩🏻‍💼集結 20 年完整教學經驗！針對亞洲學生設計的有效學習方式！

▍7/13 - 8/16 👉募資早鳥價期間優於 6 折！
📌輸入薩泰爾專屬優惠碼可以再折 $300 ！ 折價代碼：str
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*pop是爸爸的意思，所以K爸就是K-pop（韓國流行音樂）
*dad joke是諧音冷笑話的意思，這則笑話既是諧音冷笑話、又是跟爸爸相關的笑話，故有雙關
*apparent是清楚的意思，a parent是一位父母的意思。在笑話中笑點可被觀眾預期（apparent）不是一件好事，而此處笑點也同時做在父親上，故又一雙關
*利用 r 結尾動詞+ing的特性，讓suffering（受苦）聽起來像一種特別的戒指
*kill在喜劇中是笑話反應超級好的意思
*my talent runs in my genes 指自己的才華是遺傳、與生俱來的意思，而my pee runs in my jeans 指緊張到尿褲子的意思
*funky（有律動感的）的諧音笑話
* 片語 it means a lot 表感謝之意，但同時「多」在英文也是 a lot 的意思

我被丹尼老闆逼著來宣傳ㄉ......
（哈哈希望看完影片不會有反效果ㄟ我好擔心）
我們「笑爆麥」脫口秀新生代天團
5/25(六)19:30 在 EZspace民權館(近捷運民權西路站)
有演出！
這已經是加演場～
我們三月已經演過三場好評再加演！

大家趕快來看怡岑本人脫口秀哈哈哈哈
原價350元，私我粉專訂票，可以有九折優惠！

不好意思私我的話，也可以上兩廳院售票系統：
https://www.artsticket.com.tw/CKSCC2005/Product/Product00/ProductsDetailsPage.aspx?ProductID=rotyiUrPteQQZzPHXW0b9w
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
這是笑爆麥的臉書粉專:https://www.facebook.com/laughingmic/
這是我的臉書粉專:https://www.facebook.com/andrewpatanie/
這是我的IG帳號:andrew_patanie

此影片為23Comedy 例行Open Mic
時間：每週四 21:00
地點：23 Public （台北市大安區辛亥路一段100號）
主持人： 博恩站起來！博恩

(但5/9 23Comedy 會暫停一次，在後台咖啡廳有更盛大的Open Mic舞台)

[CH]【快樂嘴2 有話直說】請聽我解釋...

生活中有太多誤會了
從日常用語到文化思想，都可能誤解別人的意思
從體感溫度🌡️名詞縮寫🚾講到民主政治🤴
看博恩如何誤會別人，也被別人誤會的過程

要是有人喜歡，好奇哪裡可以看脫口秀現場表演的
我會把open mic和show的活動資訊都貼在我的粉絲頁
https://www.facebook.com/brianstandup/

台灣單口喜劇中英文都有，大家要多多支持啊！
中文：卡米地喜劇俱樂部 http://www.comedy.com.tw/
英文：Republic of Comedy Taiwan Standup https://www.facebook.com/ROCTsTaipei/
Two Three Comedy https://www.facebook.com/TwoThreeComedy/
上面都有最近表演的訊息！